Chemobrain, Healing and A Plan ...

I know I have talked about this before, but I am bringing it up again as this past week, I had a quite a few challenging times. I am usually not a complainer, but "chemo brain" is not one of the "gifts" that has come from cancer that I enjoy.  One of my girlfriends said to me the other day when I was complaining about my brain and it's wacky function ... She said and which I laughed wholeheartedly about, "well, the chemo fried your brain" (she is also a survivor). :-). 

It can be really frustrating as sometimes, simple things like, while teaching a strength class to a large group, and trying to cue and count to 20 can be a challenge ... Bless Lauren and the rest of my class for helping me out. 

Simple new things can, at times be a challenge. I do always figure them out, and can do them well, but I used to always be confident about tackling something new ... That is not always the case anymore. And if I am overwhelmed, I have a tendency to shut down.  I do work my way back, but it can be challenging at times. 

Chemo brain is something that I believe I will have to live with for the rest of my life and I will take it in stride, because, what else can I do right?  It's just frustrating at times. 

Onto healing. This past Thursday, I went to Madison to see Dr King to check out the non existent "girls" a week after surgery. Always great to see him. We chatted about random stuff, including the magazine cover (It was funny going into the office and seeing myself on the cover of a magazine on coffee tables in the lobby and back in the patient rooms). We took a look at my progress and healing and things are looking good according to him.  I think I look a little bit like a scene from the movie "Saw", but he assured me (and I believe him) that everything is healing as it should. I still need to keep the strength training light and easy and no swimming until the end of the week, depending on how my sutures and steri strips are looking.  By the 14th, I should be ready to rock n' roll.  Yay!!!  Funny part of the office visit was that when I was leaving and saying "bye" to a large group, one of them said as I walked by ... Is that her??  I laughed and smiled :-). 

The "plan" ... I have some personal goals and am putting together a plan to get myself there. A lot of self care physically, mentally and emotionally, changing of the diet, changing how I live my life and really just focussing on all around wellness for myself.  It is extremely important to me, so thanks in advance, for your support. I know some will think that my response of "no" is being selfish or uncooperative, but I think it is just the opposite. 

My first priority always needs to be my own happiness and the happiness of my family because without that ... I wouldn't be living the life that makes me whole. Don't get me wrong, I AM happy, just need to make a shift with some parts of my life to get me to that place I would really like to be. I can see it, just need to make the effort to get there :-). 

With those deep thoughts ;-), I hope you all have a wonderful Sunday evening, and remember ... Life is good. Enjoy it, love it and be kind to one another!!!  I'll be back next week with some actual training happening ... Maybe even a race plan for 2014 included.  And no, there is not an Ironman in my plan :-)