Big Day Tomorrow, NERVOUS, But the BEST Decision ...

So ... Tomorrow is it ... A total hysterectomy.  We have to be at the hospital at 6:00a.m. ... Eesh, that means leaving rockin' Milton at 4:15am.  I've been thinking about this surgery A LOT for the last couple of weeks, not sleeping well, obsessing about getting everything done (house is cleaned from top to bottom and de-christmased), and I think we now have enough food to feed an army (B will agree with that) ... That's what nerves will do to me. The time just flew by!!  

When I think back to October 21, 2008 and my bilateral mastectomy, I don't remember being nervous at all. At the time, I just wanted the cancer to be gone and was lucky enough to have Brendon and one of my dearest friends in the whole world (Terri a/k/a Penny) at my side early that morning and was also fortunate to have the rest of my family there that day.  Brendon, Penny and I laughed and laughed at the strangeness of what was about to happen and it felt good to know that they were cutting the cancer out of me. 

To be truthful, I don't miss my breasts at all. It's funny that how something or two particular "things" that I thought were so important ... So important in fact, that I got breast implants before cancer, can be so insignificant in my life now ... And as I have said before, I feel more "whole" without them and this is how I am supposed to be.  Will I miss the rest of the lady parts?  I don't think so but it does make me a little sad. 

This surgery is different in the fact that I don't have cancer in the lady parts ... I will admit this past month and that week of waiting for those biopsy results were absolute hell. I was happy that they didn't find cancer, but the what ifs and what would be next if the cancer did come back clouded my mind and scared the living "shit" out of me. Tomorrow, after all of the lady parts are removed , they will test to confirm no cancer or precancerous tissue is present (standard and they aren't worried).  

At my "pre op" appointment about 2 weeks ago, we went over all of the options and both came to the same conclusion. After I shed many tears talking about this past month, I truly believe my surgeon completely understands where I am coming from, where my mindset is, understands the physical issues that I have been having and what we both believe that the plan is necessary. To some, a total hysterectomy may seem drastic, but to me, it is what needs to happen and I am comfortable with this ... But being that it is another major surgery, it still scares me ... So whatever kind of mojo, prayers or whatever works for you to send our way, we will definitely appreciate it.  

As I have approached many things in my life, both good and bad ... I will overcome and be stronger than I was before. It'll take a little bit for me to get back there, but I am looking forward to getting back to another "new normal" ... To ride the new tandem bike that the hubcap gave to "us" for Christmas (photo attached), enjoy the summer up north at the cabin with the family, to "compete" in triathlons, to run another marathon and possibly, in 2015, do another Ironman distance race. 

We will see.  I'm going to embrace my recovery and embrace 2014. I think this will be the perfect way to start this next year. 

So, as I am off to drink my broth and eat my jello (does white wine count as part of a clear, liquid diet) ;-), I really hope you all had a fantastic holiday with your family and friends. I feel blessed to have you all in my life, so thanks for hanging around :-). Enjoy the rest of your Sunday night and remember ... Life is good. Enjoy it, love it and be kind to one another.  

A Busy Week, Surgery and Car ...

Well, it was another crazy week here. Between work (busy getting ready for the new year and all of the exciting things coming up at the Janesville Athletic Club), the kids activities ... I know I am like many, running kiddos to different practices, meets and events (we weren't home one night this week) and trying to get everything else done that life throws at all of us, I am beat. This next week is no different, but then the kids are off for holiday break. Ahhhh, it'll be nice. 

In SO many ways I am looking forward to surgery, one of those reasons being is that I can legitimately rest for a few days before I go back to my office work (no teaching for a bit - so don't worry).  Just TWO weeks from tomorrow!!!! 

I am fortunate to have a doctor that is also a runner/triathlete. That is great as she understands my questions about healing timeframe, that it won't affect my upcoming season and all of that good stuff. I did text her several more questions, as naturally, I am getting a little nervous, which she said was completely understandable. Lucky to have such a great doctor on my side :-). 

Training will officially resume after I am fully recovered, but please know when I start to gradually get back to it, I will have approval from my doctor to do so ... So no lecturing ;-).  I have 2 weeks to finish preparing my body for surgery, so I will be working hard to get it ready. 

Saturday morning wasn't so great.  It started out well with some time with the Jackman, but after that ... It kind of went downhill.  I was in a bit of a fender bender at about 10 that morning. Was backing out of my parking spot at Target and went to hit the break and my foot slipped off the break and hit the gas instead (to clarify, it was wet and snowy out).  No one was hurt except Gigi (my grocery getter), my pride and some damage to the parked car that I hit. I called the police, went into Target and had them make an announcement to notify the other party. When the gentleman came out, he was so nice and appreciative that I had already handled everything. It made a crappy experience, not so crappy ... Yes there are still kind people out there. 

Already talked to the insurance agent and taking it in on Monday morning and will hopefully get this repair train started. Gotta love American Family. 

Hope you all had a wonderful week and the holidays aren't too hectic for you all. We are looking forward to a relatively quiet Christmas. Celebrating with B's family next weekend and my parents on Christmas Eve, then we are home (just us) on Christmas Day. Can't wait for a relaxing morning and dinner at Fuji for soooooshi with the kiddos Christmas night  :-). 

Night all, HAPPY HOLIDAYS and remember ... Life is good. Enjoy it, love it and be kind to one another.  

Surgery and Hug Your Loved Ones ...

So ... My total hysterectomy is scheduled for December 30th (Nothing like getting straight to the point huh) ;-). That's quite the way to ring in the New Year right!!!  After my second opinion appointment, and talking with my first opinion doc as well as several people who have been through the experience, I made the decision to have the procedure done. 

Confident that this is the best choice for me (with my history, events of late and for my own personal sanity) and getting it done with plenty of time to start training for for the Wisconsin Half Marathon and the REV3 Half Ironman. :-). 

So, 3 weeks from tomorrow, if you happen to be in the Sauk Prairie Memorial Hospital area, stop by for a visit. I'll be there until New Years Eve. :-)

This past week, I have had three friends experience loss. It breaks my heart for them and I wish with everything in my being that I could take their pain away.  The best I can do is give support and remember to tell them and everyone that is special in my life, how important that they are. 

Live in the present, embrace life and treat those you love with kindness and love. 

I hope you have all had a great week and the week to come is just as good. 

Enjoy the peacefulness of the snowy evening and give your loved ones an extra hug tonight.