The New Year, 2012 and Getting Serious...

Well, 2013 is approaching fast!! I have to say, I am ready for it...2012 was good overall, a few big highs and a few big lows and a lot of in between. (Again, sometimes my point gets a little off track, but I do get back there, so bear with me).

Biggest high, we bought a cabin up north. Absolutely love it up there. Have been dreaming of a place for years and it became a reality this summer.

It's funny, or not so funny that cancer always comes into the conversation. One of the reasons that we purchased the cabin was because of my cancer diagnosis. We had the discussion, what if the cancer returns and we didn't ever to see that dream come true (and totally random sidebar, but I have had about 10 people come up to me in the last few months asking if my cancer had come back...it hasn't, in case you are wondering). So after a lot of planning, searching, and more searching (our realtor was very patient), we found one that fits the family perfectly.

Quite often I think about how the words "you have cancer" can really change someone's life and perspective. I won't ever forget that day/moment (9/22/2008 at 10:16am). It has DEFINITELY changed me. I think for the most part in good ways, but I know I can still be a pain in the ass, so I guess I haven't completely changed :-). One of the many good things that have come from my cancer diagnosis is that it has made me really think about what makes me the happiest, what is really important and what and who are worth my time and energy.

The definite low of 2012 was losing my friend Max this year...another person taken too soon by cancer (there is goes, popping back up into conversation). He was such an incredible friend to so many, an amazing husband, father, brother and son. I feel so blessed that I was able to call him my friend even if it was for 5 short years.

A little backstory on our friendship. We met because he was my daughter's soccer coach, made the connection there as we both played soccer for quite a while. When his cancer came back two years ago, our friendship became stronger...it is hard to describe the connection between cancer survivors. There are things that we can only understand...my other cancer survivor friends completely understand this. No one wants to be a part of the club, but when you are in it, the friendships made are pretty incredible.

Over these past two years, there were a lot of cups of coffee (well tea for me) that were drank. In the last two months of his life, I felt privileged to be able to spend as much time as I did with him. There are a lot of hard days and a lot of INTENSE conversations. Conversations that I will take with me forever. I will always cherish the last time I was able to see him. It was only for two minutes, but I was able to give him a big hug and tell him that I loved him. He is in my thoughts daily...I talk to him quite a bit. I hope he can hear me. :-).

Onto 2013 and getting SERIOUS... With training starting on Monday, I need to find a balance between, home, work, training and keeping the fun in life. The balance factor, is at times a challenge for me. If I get too overwhelmed, I shut down...so balance with a smile is the goal :-).

Training will need to be serious and will take a lot of dedication, but it won't consume my life. As always, I am looking forward to the fun in training and racing. I have a great group of friends participating in Ironman this year and a great group of friends that are not, but are willing to train with me :-). The hubcap is willing to run/ride with me too. And, I will hopefully be able to make it up once a week to a training session that my coach leads. I will also try to find that happy place with running alone...that hasn't ever been easy for me. A big part of the reason why I chose this sport was because of the commaradere, and that the sport of triathlon was BIG fun, so want to make sure I keep both of those elements there... with dedication of course :-).

The other thing I need to get serious about...I am putting this out there...I need to get myself into Ironman shape. I had gotten myself there before my surgery, but have gotten a little too comfortable with the holidays and feeling like I can eat whatever I would like. When the pants are getting tight, it doesn't matter what size they are, it means that something needs to be done, SO 8 weeks, 8 pounds to lose. I know it can be done...It is now out there, and will help keep me on track :-).

So here's to a new year, filled with fun, friendship, love, support, sassiness (yes, I just typed that), challenges, dedication, goals and wicked fast race times ;-)! Enjoy and looking forward to an awesome 2013 with all of you!!

Swim suits, Christmas and Mojo....

There is no real order, so where to start??

I guess I will start with my attempt to order a bikini today...got the Title Nine catalog in the mail. If I had a money tree, I would order one or more of everything...absolutely LOVE their stuff! Started looking for swimsuits for my newly reshaped bod...bottoms, EASY, tops, not so easy. I was looking at a couple and thought those would be cute but would they NOW work for me. I decided to chat "live" with one of the customer service peeps to see if she could help...she was great . I start asking about suit tops and she asked what my old bra size was...had to explain a couple of times what my situation was before the mental picture got her where she needed to be ;-). A direct quote, "Ahhhhhh, I need to rethink this and do you have a tape measure?" After taking some measurements, we figured out what may work and which suit we thought would be best. I am not a tankini girl nor do I wear a one piece unless I am swimming laps :-). Decided on a cute magenta suit...a pic is attached. I'll keep you posted on how that shakes out :-). I would still like more of a regular bikini...calling Title Nine back in January when they get their new suits in to see what could maybe work. Tried to shop for mastectomy swim suits, but they all look like grandma suits...not that there is anything wrong with that, but I am not a grandma, so would prefer not to go that route ;-). Again...business venture?!?!

Now to the mojo factor. It kind of gets tagged with Christmas, so I will combine the two. On Christmas Day we went to my Mom's to celebrate. We were in charge of picking up Dad...you never know what you are going to get on a given day with him.

A little backstory on my Dad. He was diagnosed with Parkinson's 14 years ago and about 6 years ago, the determined he also had Alzheimer's. nice double whammy huh?!?! He now lives at The Haven, which is the Attic Angel memory care unit...a wonderful place for him.

Anywho, it was not a good day, and frankly hasn't been a good week. He wasn't very lucid, wasn't aware, his balance was for sh!t (he has fallen several times in the past 4 days) the best way to describe him was...BLANK. A really hard thing to see him deteriorating like he is. He used to be a brilliant, vibrant person that was meticulous about how he looked. He is a shell of that man now. I still love him as he is my father, but if he knew that he was like this, he would not want to be here. That, I guess is the blessing of the disease for the person that has it. For the rest of us, not so good. As we drove home, I could not help but cry for a long time thinking about it. Got home, had a big fat glass of red...could have probably had 8 more, but decided it would be better to just go to bed.

I got up this morning feeling tired and bummed out, tried to run and made only 2 of the 3 miles I had planned on running...definite low mojo moment. After my failed attempt at a run, I taught boot camp and finished up work. My office is at a different club than where the group ex classes are held, so on the drive in between clubs, I had a talk with myself...this is the jist of that little conversation...Michele, you CAN run, you are alive and healthy. Who knows when that will change, but today you CAN, so embrace it and get back out there and finish what you started...so, off to do my 3 mile run, in my bright and colorful Newtons, with a smile on my face and think about that fantastic father of mine and all of those great memories I have of him from when he was well.

So, get out and do what you love to do, because today, you can :-).

4:30pm - There is nothing like listening to Adam Levine/Maroon 5 to get that mojo flowin' for that 3 mile run that should have happened earlier today :-). Done and happy!!!

Running/Swimming/biking and the holidays :-).

This snowy Christmas Eve started on a high note with the majority of the running buds and a little 3 miler around the track a/k/a "rat cage" at the club. If you haven't been to the Janesville Athletic Club before, the track surrounds the tennis courts enclosed by a chain link "cage". Fun place to run and only 8 laps for a mile...it was a tough one this morning...I think the fact that we were running at a pretty good clip added to the "suckitude" factor of the morning run. We were even having a hard time talking, so you know it was a challenge!! I do love those ladies, they make me want to get up at the pre-butt crack of dawn :-). We will see how much they love me when the long runs start...shifts are a good thing ladies :)!!! When we finished, I figured since I was already at work, I would stay and ACTUALLY do some work.

After I got everything accomplished that I needed/wanted to, I hopped on over to Michael's Cycles to get my trainer tire put on my bike...B unsuccessfully put it on last night...popped the tube while trying to put it on the wheel (apparently it is a b!tch to do as it was confirmed by one of my faves at the bike shop :-). The one good thing about the broken tube was that I need an old tube for a swim drill that uses the above referenced tube. You cut the tube and tie it around your ankles...then swim...no pull buoy to help keep this bod close to the surface of the water. It should be interesting!!! Hopefully I don't freak out the staff at the Y up north! We will be up there when my training starts. First day is a swim...and lucky me, I found a pool that was only 20 minutes away! Lets hope that there is a lifeguard on deck :-). I will be so happy when summer arrives and I have to only walk 75 feet to get to the water!!!

So, a great day all around...An impromptu holiday celebration at the Witt's on Britt followed by a nap, then the cooking began. Michael and Anceert got here around 4...opened the red and started cooking. Making a butternut squash and wild rice soup for dinner. Can't wait!!! Tomorrow, off to Mom's to celebrate Christmas with my family. So happy that my Dad will be able to be there. Fingers crossed that it is a good day for him. Wednesday, back to the last few days of "free for all" training! Thursday, up north bound and hopefully we can snowshoe!!!! I absolutely love the retreat and time away! Can't think of a better way to ring in the New Year!!!!

Happy Holidays to all of you!!!!!

P.S. I'll keep you posted on the tube swim...maybe I'll do a practice run before we get outta dodge :-).

It's Real...GULP...

Well, I just opened up my Training Peaks account and saw the first two weeks that have been planned out for me!!! I read, and re-read, and read again, the training plans for each day partially because I didn't understand what he was talking about, partially because it is now real, AND I needed to have what he was telling me to do to sink into this melon of mine ;-). My brain still does not work the same even after being done with chemo for 3 years. Who knows if it ever will, :-), but it is what it is right? I just hope I'm not too much of a PITA (pain in the ass) with questions. It's newer lingo to this triathlete. In the past, when my plan said to run for an hour, I ran for an hour. Swim 4000 yards, I would do just that...this is specific and a bit out of my comfort zone...Brendon (hubcap) laughed and said, "Is he aware that you don't like to be told what to do?" My response, I don't think so but this is what I have hired him for, to get me out of my comfort zone and to help me reach my goals. He may be a LITTLE right on me not enjoying being told what to do ;-). This Ironman experience will definitely be a new one for me.

In 2010, my Ironman journey was completely different. The goals were to finish (which I did in 16:05:53), raise as much money as I could for Susan G. Komen through the Janus Charity Challenge (I did, almost $25,000 actually), to complete the event with Brendon (we did and had a couple of CLOSE drafting calls on the bike to prove it as well as A LOT of time to talk on the "run"), and to give cancer a swift kick in the a$$ (did that too)!! This time, I am still giving cancer a kick in the a$$ but the goal, the purpose, is different and I am excited for it.

I am embracing this last week of having my own training schedule and having a little fun with it...I definitely will have fun with the new training plan, and have already recruited two people to run with me and to go with what Blake has set out for me/us on a given run day. The bike, I can hopefully incorporate rides at Michael's Cycles, learn to embrace the bike trainer, make it up for some indoor team rides, and incorporate some of my sessions into a spin ride for class :-). Can't wait to be able to ride outside again!!! The swim, that'll be all good.

Just got home after finishing out my work week with a great run with two of my small group class peeps, and a fun but challenging spin. This afternoon, a glass of wine at Milwaukee Grill with a good friend, then a double date for dinner. I think, an awesome way to start off the weekend! And if I hadn't procrastinated, there would be a pedicure thrown in there too :-).

Enjoy the beautiful wintery day...we have snow, FINALLY! :-).

Goin' Out Boobs and Actually A Little Triathlon Talk:

So, I'll start with this (at times I get distracted, but do get back to my point in a round about way - so hang tight) ...I had my final post op appointment with my rockin' plastic surgeon Dr. Timothy King. It was funny, he walks in and looks at me like "are we good?" He asked how I was doing ... I asked if I could hug him because I was so happy!! I could see relief in his eyes. A little back story, in case you don't know the sequence of events...

Before I was diagnosed with breast cancer in September of 2008, I got breast implants... Best choice I had made at the time. They helped me find my cancer so I wouldn't change the decision ever. Anywho, after I was diagnosed and was in surgery for my bilateral mastectomy, the surgeon said my current implants "looked good" so he left the original ones in place...a win, win right? When people looked at me, it still looked like I had breasts, so it was good for a while. Fast forward 4 years. Those implants just kept feeling more and more uncomfortable as time passed...like a strange foreign body in my very own body. I was at my 10 year implant shelf life timeframe and had the option of reconstruction (I could replace the implants or remove them). I said, lets get rid of these bad boys....Dr. King said it was not normal for women that are 43 to want to remove what would be some sort of a shape...I said "I am not your normal patient." He said, OKAY, and we scheduled the surgery.

Surgery day...Tuesday, November 6th...Brendon (the hubcap) and one of my dearest friends ever, Terri, and also now a breast cancer survivor too (I tear up thinking about her having to go through this) and my Mom came that day to help me say goodbye to the "foobs" forever...everyone was amazing getting me ready to go in pre op, a lot of laughing was had too :-). When I walked into the OR, I saw 8 people all masked up and ready for me...what do I do, I completely lose it and start sobbing...not because I was sad but because, it was finally happening, the relief of those "things" being gone, was finally here. Dr. King was nervous because he thought I was nervous (he wasn't expecting me to cry), I said, "no, I'm not nervous but this is a big thing happening today". He then did the sweetest, most caring and nicest thing a surgeon could do... he held my hand until I was under. So kind. Couldn't ask for anything more. Recovered like a rockstar and was back at it full strength after 2.5 weeks :-).

Back to the final post op. He was so happy that I was happy, and he said that I had really recovered so quickly (I made a conscious effort to be in the best shape I could be in before surgery to aide in my recovery - I am doing the same for Ironman). After the business was taken care of, we got to Ironman...he is going to come out and watch!!! So fun...I hope to see a lot of you out there, not just for me but to see all of the hard work that every one of these athletes put into getting ready for this one day...just incredible!!!

I left the appointment thinking, I am streamlined and ready to rock....I headed to UW Hospital (my home away from home for a year) for my prosthetics or "goin' out boobs" fitting. I think I chose a nice size for me...tried them on...they were silly...don't think I will really wear them (I can still rock it boobless), but I get two "sets" a year through my insurance so wanted to give it a shot. We did have the discussion of swimming with them...you can get special prosthetics for swimming...REALLY?!?! Unless I am in a bikini, there will be no extra weight included in my suit...FYI, there are NO good mastectomy bikini's out there....maybe a new business venture for me??? If anyone knows of anyone that could help out with this venture, please message me :-)

Now back to the reason you are all here, triathlon training...swimming mojo is back, new swim caps for variety from Terri made me happy, and the sushi suit in place...I am officially streamlined and ready to go...Now to work on my efficiency...stroke analysis with Blake (coach) in January to help get me there. Can I shave 10 minutes off my Ironman swim time??? That is the goal :-)...as well as increase the bike speed, and the run speed too. My other issue, nutrition. So many things to work on, but a lot of time to get there (again looking forward to working with Blake to help me - and I know I have to do the work, but the guidance and mentoring, I think will be key for me). I do have a time goal, but as of now, I am keeping that one on the down low. As I progress, maybe I will share :-).

That said, I think I have mentioned that I can't wait to get started...well, I can't :-). Enjoy the night and fingers crossed that there is a snow day tomorrow!!

Here We Go Again!!

I am back on the journey towards Ironman Wisconsin 2013 - Come out on race day (9.8.2013) to see all of the athletes that have put their hearts and souls into training!  I invite you all to come along on the ride with me...It will be full of fun, challenges, elation, fatigue, support, balance (still working on that one) happiness, and hopefully a little inspiration too :-).  This time, things will be a little different for the following reasons...

1)  I will not be stalking all of you with my fundraising emails :-).
2)  I will be doing the race solo this year (Brendon, my husband, decided to sit this one out but has agreed to be an awesome jockstrapper a/k/a athletic supporter)
3)  I will be much more streamlined this year ... that is another story in itself
4)  I have hired a coach to help me reach my goals (not winning anything, just would like to be able to do my best and am confident that he can help me get there)
5)  It will be my almost 5 year Canciversary, actually just 14 days after the event will be the 5th anniversary of my diagnosis.  I can't think of a better way to celebrate.  I know some of you could, but this is another one of those defining moments for me and another way that I am giving cancer a kick in the ASS!!!
6) I will be racing for all survivors and for those who have become angels too early...this still makes me extremely emotional as I wouldn't ever wish anyone to have to have the word oncologist or cancer in their vocabulary when referring to themselves or anyone else for that matter
7) It will be my Mom's 80th birthday that day :-).   

Training officially starts 12.30.2012...can't wait!