Big Day Tomorrow, NERVOUS, But the BEST Decision ...

So ... Tomorrow is it ... A total hysterectomy.  We have to be at the hospital at 6:00a.m. ... Eesh, that means leaving rockin' Milton at 4:15am.  I've been thinking about this surgery A LOT for the last couple of weeks, not sleeping well, obsessing about getting everything done (house is cleaned from top to bottom and de-christmased), and I think we now have enough food to feed an army (B will agree with that) ... That's what nerves will do to me. The time just flew by!!  

When I think back to October 21, 2008 and my bilateral mastectomy, I don't remember being nervous at all. At the time, I just wanted the cancer to be gone and was lucky enough to have Brendon and one of my dearest friends in the whole world (Terri a/k/a Penny) at my side early that morning and was also fortunate to have the rest of my family there that day.  Brendon, Penny and I laughed and laughed at the strangeness of what was about to happen and it felt good to know that they were cutting the cancer out of me. 

To be truthful, I don't miss my breasts at all. It's funny that how something or two particular "things" that I thought were so important ... So important in fact, that I got breast implants before cancer, can be so insignificant in my life now ... And as I have said before, I feel more "whole" without them and this is how I am supposed to be.  Will I miss the rest of the lady parts?  I don't think so but it does make me a little sad. 

This surgery is different in the fact that I don't have cancer in the lady parts ... I will admit this past month and that week of waiting for those biopsy results were absolute hell. I was happy that they didn't find cancer, but the what ifs and what would be next if the cancer did come back clouded my mind and scared the living "shit" out of me. Tomorrow, after all of the lady parts are removed , they will test to confirm no cancer or precancerous tissue is present (standard and they aren't worried).  

At my "pre op" appointment about 2 weeks ago, we went over all of the options and both came to the same conclusion. After I shed many tears talking about this past month, I truly believe my surgeon completely understands where I am coming from, where my mindset is, understands the physical issues that I have been having and what we both believe that the plan is necessary. To some, a total hysterectomy may seem drastic, but to me, it is what needs to happen and I am comfortable with this ... But being that it is another major surgery, it still scares me ... So whatever kind of mojo, prayers or whatever works for you to send our way, we will definitely appreciate it.  

As I have approached many things in my life, both good and bad ... I will overcome and be stronger than I was before. It'll take a little bit for me to get back there, but I am looking forward to getting back to another "new normal" ... To ride the new tandem bike that the hubcap gave to "us" for Christmas (photo attached), enjoy the summer up north at the cabin with the family, to "compete" in triathlons, to run another marathon and possibly, in 2015, do another Ironman distance race. 

We will see.  I'm going to embrace my recovery and embrace 2014. I think this will be the perfect way to start this next year. 

So, as I am off to drink my broth and eat my jello (does white wine count as part of a clear, liquid diet) ;-), I really hope you all had a fantastic holiday with your family and friends. I feel blessed to have you all in my life, so thanks for hanging around :-). Enjoy the rest of your Sunday night and remember ... Life is good. Enjoy it, love it and be kind to one another.  

A Busy Week, Surgery and Car ...

Well, it was another crazy week here. Between work (busy getting ready for the new year and all of the exciting things coming up at the Janesville Athletic Club), the kids activities ... I know I am like many, running kiddos to different practices, meets and events (we weren't home one night this week) and trying to get everything else done that life throws at all of us, I am beat. This next week is no different, but then the kids are off for holiday break. Ahhhh, it'll be nice. 

In SO many ways I am looking forward to surgery, one of those reasons being is that I can legitimately rest for a few days before I go back to my office work (no teaching for a bit - so don't worry).  Just TWO weeks from tomorrow!!!! 

I am fortunate to have a doctor that is also a runner/triathlete. That is great as she understands my questions about healing timeframe, that it won't affect my upcoming season and all of that good stuff. I did text her several more questions, as naturally, I am getting a little nervous, which she said was completely understandable. Lucky to have such a great doctor on my side :-). 

Training will officially resume after I am fully recovered, but please know when I start to gradually get back to it, I will have approval from my doctor to do so ... So no lecturing ;-).  I have 2 weeks to finish preparing my body for surgery, so I will be working hard to get it ready. 

Saturday morning wasn't so great.  It started out well with some time with the Jackman, but after that ... It kind of went downhill.  I was in a bit of a fender bender at about 10 that morning. Was backing out of my parking spot at Target and went to hit the break and my foot slipped off the break and hit the gas instead (to clarify, it was wet and snowy out).  No one was hurt except Gigi (my grocery getter), my pride and some damage to the parked car that I hit. I called the police, went into Target and had them make an announcement to notify the other party. When the gentleman came out, he was so nice and appreciative that I had already handled everything. It made a crappy experience, not so crappy ... Yes there are still kind people out there. 

Already talked to the insurance agent and taking it in on Monday morning and will hopefully get this repair train started. Gotta love American Family. 

Hope you all had a wonderful week and the holidays aren't too hectic for you all. We are looking forward to a relatively quiet Christmas. Celebrating with B's family next weekend and my parents on Christmas Eve, then we are home (just us) on Christmas Day. Can't wait for a relaxing morning and dinner at Fuji for soooooshi with the kiddos Christmas night  :-). 

Night all, HAPPY HOLIDAYS and remember ... Life is good. Enjoy it, love it and be kind to one another.  

Surgery and Hug Your Loved Ones ...

So ... My total hysterectomy is scheduled for December 30th (Nothing like getting straight to the point huh) ;-). That's quite the way to ring in the New Year right!!!  After my second opinion appointment, and talking with my first opinion doc as well as several people who have been through the experience, I made the decision to have the procedure done. 

Confident that this is the best choice for me (with my history, events of late and for my own personal sanity) and getting it done with plenty of time to start training for for the Wisconsin Half Marathon and the REV3 Half Ironman. :-). 

So, 3 weeks from tomorrow, if you happen to be in the Sauk Prairie Memorial Hospital area, stop by for a visit. I'll be there until New Years Eve. :-)

This past week, I have had three friends experience loss. It breaks my heart for them and I wish with everything in my being that I could take their pain away.  The best I can do is give support and remember to tell them and everyone that is special in my life, how important that they are. 

Live in the present, embrace life and treat those you love with kindness and love. 

I hope you have all had a great week and the week to come is just as good. 

Enjoy the peacefulness of the snowy evening and give your loved ones an extra hug tonight. 

 

Thanksgiving and Upcoming Schtuff ...

Thanksgiving week was a busy one, as it usually is for most everyone. I was able to manage to have some good down time this week, which was really nice. 

I was going to post a list of things/peeps  that I am thankful for, but it is entirely WAY too long to post and would probably bore you all to tears, so I will spare you :-). 

Thanksgiving day itself proved to be a challenge, but we made it through and I was happy that my brother Michael and his partner Anceert (pronounced On-Cert, if you are wondering), were able to make it. They are moving to sunny California in the next few weeks so it was great to be able have some time with them. Can't wait to visit!!!  

The best part of the weekend was that my first baby, Jack turned 15 ... I cannot believe he is 15. Such an incredible young man.  Love him to the moon and back!  Attaching a couple of photos from when he was just a teeny kiddo. 

We finished up the holiday weekend with a trip to Minneapolis to see Brendon's extended family. A great way to round out the week!!  

This coming Thursday, I have an appointment  with my new ON/GYN, so I will have more news to share on that front. Hoping she will confirm what doc Suzanne recommends and can magically squeeze me in before the end of the year.  Anyone want to take bets on those odds??  ;-). 

Hope you all had a wonderful Thabksgiving with your family and are able to enjoy the holidays coming up as well!  Enjoy your evening and remember ... Life is good. Enjoy it, love it and be kind to one another.  

Training, More Yoga and the Cabin ...

The beginning of this past week was a little nerve wracking. I appreciated everyone's good thoughts, prayers and good juju. The good thing about the nerve wracking week, was that I got 3 good runs in with friends. Have to love my peeps that were doing their best to help me free my mind of the thoughts of the unknown phone call!!!  

So, the good news is that I don't have endometrial cancer. I have a follow up appointment with an OB/GYN on 12/5 to discuss what is next. I have already gotten an opinion from a triathlete friend that just happens to be an Ob/GYN (the powers of FB and the sport of triathlon made this first opinion happen already).  She was able to look at notes, results of biopsy and the ultrasound results too. Her recommendation is a total hysterectomy. On the 5th I will hopefully confirm that recommendation. 

With my history and issues, I am not opposed to it. My hormones have been completely out of whack for the last 5 years and I am not having anymore children, so I am good with it. I'll keep you posted. Hoping that if a hysterectomy is the outcome, that they can do it lapriscopically so my down time isn't too long. We will see :-). 

I am planning on enjoying the thanksgiving holiday with family and friends, then will get back to focussing on what is going on with my body. 

Training is getting back there, slowly, but it is moving in the right direction. I am doing the Rev3 half ironman distance in the Dells on June 22nd so my training plan will start the first week of February, so a good base would be nice :-). I've been working on my plan, but know there may be a kink thrown in there too. 

Other good things happening ... I have really been enjoying yoga. Was able to go twice this past week and it feels great. I need more of being aware and enjoying the present, not always worrying about things and really focussing on happiness and balance. 

These last few weeks have been the perfect wake up call for me. After I was diagnosed with BC on 2008, I really had my priorities figured out and lived a pretty balanced life. As time moved on, I started to fall back into old habits and I don't like that about my old self. It has been nice to be getting back to where I would like to be personally. Planning on continuing this trend from here on out and I think that yoga really helps with this as well. 

The weekend was rounded out with an incredible trip to the cabin. I love it up there. We got a few things done, but really just relaxed and had some nice family time. It would have been great to take a walk or two in the woods but with all of the hunters out there, we didn't feel like it was a good choice. To finish the week, we met Brendon's family and did the annual chop down the Christmas tree event. Always fun to do. 

Settling in for the night and preparing for the week ahead. Should be a really nice holiday week. Enjoy your night and holiday week ahead. Safe travels if you are heading out of town and remember ... Life is good. Enjoy it, love it and be kind to one another.  

No News Yet, Weekend And YOGA ...

So after sending an unsuccessful MyChart message to my Nurse Practitioner on Friday, I did what any normal cancer survivor would do ... I emailed my Oncologist to see if the biopsy results were in yet :-).  You've gotta love that man. He responded within just a couple of hours, from Florida (he was at a meeting), and said that the biopsy results were not in and after reading the notes and seeing the ultrasound results, he was glad that they did the biopsy ... He then closed his email with, "please get some rest this weekend and try not to worry and enjoy the weekend".  Well ...

It has been a great weekend!  Jacks HS production of Kiss Me Kate was this weekend. What an amazing job those kids did!  So proud of all if them. We were able to see the Friday and Shnday performances. Saturday was our 17th anniversary. It was a good day/night overall. Can't believe we have been married or 17 years!!!  The big anniversary purchase was a wooden beach towel rack for the cabin :-). (Photo attached) Happy Mama!!  

As far as training went, there wasn't anything stellar that happened for this Chica in the last seven days, but I DID make it to two, yes TWO,  hot yoga classes. The first was at Harbor Athletic Club, my old stomping grounds. Love that gym and I saw several people that I still know. Anywho, went into class that my friend, Christi, who I have known since HS, was teaching. What a great class, a perfect message that I could completely relate to (did you known you can cry in hot yoga and no one knows since everyone is sweating their a$$es off)!!  This morning, Sue, my friend and former boss from the JAC,  went to Hot Yoga at Inner Fire Yoga in Madison. That was another incredible experience and I was so happy that Sue brought me and gave me a little glimpse as to what her passion is. Holy boats it was HOT in there!!!  The humidity was a killer as well. Felt great when I was done and have had some calm and peaceful times after both classes :-).  Looking forward to my Wednesday night yoga class too. Who knew that I would enjoy the calm and centering of yoga. It has done wonders for me, and I look forward to continuing. 

I am promising to you all and myself to get back to it (training that is) this week. :-).  

I hope you have all had a wonderful weekend and remember ... Life is good. Enjoy it, love it and be kind to one another and I will post if results when they come in. 

Friends, Appreciation and Getting It Checked Out ...

Well, it was an interesting week that is for sure. There are not any wicked awesome training stories to share whatsoever ... It's been a busy week, between work, trips to Madison and trying to catch up on sleep, the training/workouts haven't been all getting done ... Some have, but not quite what I have hoped.  What can you do but just let it go. 

There were some great highlights to the week.  I was lucky enough to have lunch with my dear friend Kris, dinner with one of our fave couples Wendy and Kirk, see my good friend Laura that just moved to Michigan and had come home for the weekend, being able to cheer my friends Kathi and Sherri on at the Madison Marathon (they did awesome!!  Kathi's first and Sherri's second - lights the fire under this bootay to get back to the training) AND lunch with my friend Peter, (those are some awesome highlights that's for sure). I'm going to fill you in on my lunch with Peter. 

So, my friend Peter, who I have known for 20+ years but haven't seen in about 18 years, saw me on the cover of Brava Magazine and said that I should get the print blown up and he would frame it for me. A little background on Peter. He used to own The Onion and sold it a few years ago and now owns a frame shop/gallery.  Any who, I sent him a message asking if he would really do this for me. Yes, indeed he was going to. So kind and so thoughtful. 

When Peter and I met for lunch and he showed the framed photo to me, what did I do???  I'll give you one guess ... I cried. The kindness of people still amazes me.  I have attached a picture which doesn't do it justice, but I wanted to attach it. I am so appreciative and thankful to have so many incredible people in my life. 

On Thursday, the week got a little more interesting (and not in a whoo hoo interesting way).  I went to the doctor for a physical and to get some things checked out that have been a little off lately. Well, the outcome of the appointment ... Ultrasound ordered and was on Friday (score for me ... Because I am fit, they were able to get some great images) and not such a score, I have an endometrial biopsy scheduled this coming Tuesday morning.  I wasn't I expecting that word to come out of my doc's mouth, but I guess it needs to be done.  I will say this, that as soon as I heard the word biopsy, I pretty much stopped hearing anything else that she had to say. The Charlie Brown teacher voice was all I heard. I did manage to hold it together until she left the room, then the flood of memories of the chain of events from 5 years ago came rushing back.  I let myself have a good cry, then had a chat with myself and decided that I need to stay positive and not worry.  I don't know anything now that is different from the day before, so I can't worry about something that could be nothing right?  (A little self talk going on). ;-). 

So, a little request, if you do feel the urge and would be so kind as to send some good thoughts, good juju, prayers (however it works in your world) in my family's direction, we would appreciate it. 

I hope you all have had a great weekend and have been able to enjoy spending time with those you love. Enjoy the evening and remember ... Life is good. Enjoy it, love it and be kind to one another!!!